Christmas Celebration
And all around the nation
Won't you stay with me tonight
'Cause I'm running out of fight
And the pageantry is such a bore
Carolers are singing
Registers ka-chinging
And the presents are in place
But I'd rather eat some mace
'Cause the eggnog always makes me sick
You know how the story goes
You've seen it all before
That man is so obese that he can't get out the door
Christmas to perfection
I'm begging for some action
And the ringing in my ears is the sound of Christmas cheer
'Cause they knocked me screaming overboard
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